January 23, 2013

In this Wednesday series, Kate Tellers writes about buying her first house. Over text. (Find older posts below.)

With the inspection behind us it was time to officially take our house off of the market.

To take our house off of the market we signed a contract and placed a deposit of 10% of its value.

The simplest way to place a deposit was to write a personal check.

My only checks came from a promotional offer.

check pixel circle crop

And so I am a princess.

Part 2: 

Once our offer was accepted we hired an inspector to evaluate the condition of our potential new home.  A licensed home inspector provides “a written report regarding a property’s condition, including an assessment of necessary or recommended repairs, maintenance concerns or other issues.”

My hope was that the inspector would note the original dining room floor with walnut inlay border, but without all of my histrionics. I was looking for quantitative data that would confirm the value and stability of our long-term investment.

Instead Pete ticked boxes on a series of worksheets, each of them headed with (helpful?) graphics like these:


Part 1:

This is not how I expected to make the biggest financial decision of my life to date:

TEXT offer accept with blur

And so, the same technology that pings my husband “Warren G is playing. Wish you were here,” and “I just ate so many of your Christmas wasabi beans!” was essential in committing our next thirty years (fixed) to a townhouse in Brooklyn.

Kate Tellers‘ stories have appeared in the New York Press, on the Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy (columnist), and on stages. She is a host of The Moth StorySLAMs in New York City.